Episode 30: The Klingon Way Out

(Stardate 48963)

By

Jay P. Hailey

And

Dennnis Washburn

The starship Discovery was cruising through Klingon space. The Klingons weren't entirely comfortable with this so they sent along an escort. The escort was composed of at least three ships, and possibly more. The Discovery was definitely outgunned.

I did not consider this a big problem. We weren't there to fight the Klingons. We were just passing through. Our mission took us to the far side of the Klingon Empire and away into unknown space.

I was on the Bridge of the Discovery going through some records. Our mission was to take a group of El-Aurian colonists to a planet far outside known space and leave them there. It was essentially a stranding. Now that I knew more about it, the ethical problem of the stranding was less pressing. It was entirely possible that the colonists knew exactly what they were doing. I was trying to track their activities through the Federation.

It was just a paranoid exercise, but I didn't mind. The Discovery was in the most excruciatingly boring section of the trip. The Klingons were keeping us incommunicado and under secret conditions. There was little or no contact from the outside, except for bloody Klingon News reports.

The Klingons were stepping up operations along the Cardassian border. There was talk of small but brave and heroic battles being fought there. I didn't like the idea of the Klingons picking a war with the Cardassians. Any such war would certainly pull the Federation in too. The Klingons didn't seem to be aiming for all out war. They kept up a carefully tuned state of tension and provoked the occasional "incident". They were masterful manipulators. There was a continual state of violence but it was always short of outright war. I wondered how much of this they learned from the long state of tension with the Federation. I didn't ask.

My ruminations on Klingon politics and El-Aurian conspiracies were interrupted. Lieutenant Commander Stephanie Anderson, my Chief Tactical Officer reported. "Captain. I think you should see this."

"What is it?" I asked.

"It's a distress call, Sir." She sounded disturbed.

I looked at her. A distress call was not the time for subtle discomfort, it was time to run and break out the rescue supplies. Stephanie's attitude let me know that there was something odd going on. I got up and went around to her station. I could see the display with the red, flashing border. The message was a simple text message.

The directional fix put them three light years ahead of us, about sixty light years inside Klingon space. I blew a sigh and then checked out our archives. Sure enough, there was a listing for the SS Philadelphia, FCS-626. She had launched from Earth in 2264 and had disappeared somewhere along the route. There was a notice beside the entry. No one had ever found any clue about the fate of the colony ship and it was still listed as an open investigation.

"Sound yellow alert." I said. "When we're at alert status hail the Fleet Commander."

Stephanie nodded and said "Aye, Sir."

I went back to my seat and listened to the alarms whoop. The Discovery was preparing for trouble.

The Flagship of the fleet answered the hail and soon General Kalak was on my screen.

"General I have received a distress call. I must go and answer it." I said. It felt like I couldn't breathe.

"What distress call?" General Kalak asked.

I signaled Stephanie. She sent Kalak a copy of what we had received.

"This is nothing you need concern yourself with, Captain." Kalak said, mildly.

"I must." I said. Starfleet regulations were quite explicit. Besides, if there was a colony of Humans inside the Klingon Empire they were probably slaves. The Federation needed to know.

"No." He said. That should have settled it.

"I must. I have no choice. Destroy the Discovery if you have to." I said. I surprised myself by saying it. I realized that I felt deeply about it. Humans should not live under Klingon domination. I was prepared to sacrifice the Discovery and our mission if necessary. "Helm, lay in course-"

"Bring the fleet to alert." Kalak barked over his shoulder. "Arm weapons."

"Lay in course to the source of the signal." I said. My mouth was dry.

"The fleet has armed weapons." Stephanie said.

"Raise shields. Arm all weapons." Was it really my voice?

"Course laid in." Spaat said calmly.

"If the Discovery changes course, open fire." Kalak said.

"Engage." I said. That was it. We were dead. I was about to order Stephanie to power up the communications system. The Discovery's communications system was powerful. We might be able to get a signal through the interference. Starfleet would know what happened and why.

"Belay that!" Kalak shouted. "Belay all orders!"

"Return to previous course, Mr. Spaat." I said quickly.

"Captain, I will beam aboard in five minutes. Be ready to receive me." Kalak growled. The screen went dead.

"The fleet is returning to cruise configuration." Stephanie said. "They are lowering weapons and shields."

"Stand down weapons and shields." I said. I was light headed. Dealing with the Klingons is not for the faint of heart.

"Commander Mendez, You have the bridge." I said. I left my sweat soaked command chair and went down to the transporter room.

-*-

Kalak beamed aboard carrying a space suit. He saluted the Discovery's keel and said "Permission to come aboard?" His tone dared me to deny him.

"Permission granted." I wondered if Kalak was going to kill me. It was not unusual for junior officers to be killed for confronting their commanders in such a fashion in the Klingon Fleet.

Kalak was a big man. His voice was deep and he had a cultured accent. He stepped down off the transporter pad and said simply "Come along." He strode out of the Transporter room with long strides.

I hurried after him. "All due respect, Sir..."

He whirled "I am beginning to suspect that you do not know the meaning of the word, Captain. I will explain myself this once. This is in deference to your race. I have seen for myself how desperately humans will defend their homes and their neighbors; I have elected to make my point in person. If you challenge me again, for your own sake, I hope that you are much more dangerous than you look. IS THAT CLEAR, CAPTAIN!?"

I snapped to attention. "Yes, Sir!"

"Good. Come along." He entered a turbolift and went to the Discovery's main shuttle bay.

"General Kalak, what is the space suit for?" I asked.

"You will not need one." Kalak said. "You will need your teeth brushes and whatever else you require to see to your comfort for a four day trip in one of your runabouts. We will take the Heinlein. I liked his work better."

"Yes, Sir."

We climbed aboard the runabout and I pre-flighted it, while I called to my quarters for records of my personal equipment.

"Hailey to Discovery." I said.

"This is Commander Mendez, Sir. Go ahead."

"I am leaving the Discovery with General Kalak. You are in command. My orders are as follows. General Kalak and I are going to check out the distress beacon we received. This is all the response that I deem warranted or safe. If we do not return, you will report in full to Starfleet consistent with the Klingon protocols and continue the Discovery's mission. Are these orders clear?"

"But, Captain..."

"No buts. If there's a problem then the Klingons are perfectly competent to mount a rescue mission. The Discovery is a risk for them and I wouldn't like you to aggravate that risk." I explained.

"Aye, Sir." Mendez said unhappily

"Runabout Heinlein requests permission to depart." I said.

"Heinlein, you are clear to undock. Discovery says Good Luck." Mendez said.

The big door rolled up and I carefully piloted the runabout away from the Discovery.

"You understand more than your actions suggest, Captain." Kalak said.

"Thank you, Sir." I said. I put us into warp headed for the source of the beacon.

-*-

A couple of days later we were nearing the source of the beacon. General Kalak placed an isolinear chip in the runabout's panel and a display lit up showing some sort of spore.

"The planet we are headed for was discovered some thirty years before our two cultures first met." Kalak explained. "The first attempt to settle it was in the 2240's after the First Federation War."

"Your big expansion that followed the war?" I asked.

"Exactly. The amount of technology and wealth the Federation had to throw against us was said to have been quite intimidating. The Empire knew that it had to grow swiftly to compete. In this instance the decision was premature."

"Why?"

"The spore you see displayed on the screen is from a native grass. It has evolved to fill a number of niches in the planet's ecology. They all use spores of a similar size and shape to reproduce, although I'm told that the individual types of grass can tell the difference. The spore causes a devastating allergic reaction in Klingon life forms. We swell up until we strangle or explode. The settlement died to the last man, woman and child, when the spring came and the pollen flew. The landing party that went to investigate also died hideously, but they had the courtesy to do it on the cruiser, and so the Chief Medical Officer was able to determine the cause."

"Ugh!" I said "That's no way for a Warrior to die."

"Hmph." Kalak said. "There was a debate on that. Eventually it was determined that they died combating the ecology of the planet. The death was declared honorable. But," He grinned, "no one else went down to the planet."

"At the time, there was still war between our two governments. The question was actually raised if the pollen was actually a Federation bio-weapon."

"I'm a little upset that you thought so little of us." I growled. Using a bio-weapon like that was considered a hideous crime in the Federation. We learned to respect our biosphere the hard way.

"Not I. Remember that the Klingons of the day knew little of Earth, it's history, or your human codes of honor."

"Please go on." I said.

"The suspicion might have been confirmed when fifteen years later a human colony was found thriving on that deadly world."

"Uh oh." I said.

"Exactly. However, reputable scientists of the day said that the deadly grasses were too widely entwined in the planet's ecosystem to be an artificial occurrence. Not only that but the planet was two months inside the Empire. Not the best strategic location. Something else was at work." Kalak explained.

"How did the humans survive the spore?" I asked.

"Oh. Among humans it produces a terrible scourge, the misery you call, I believe 'hay-fever'." Kalak was wry.

"Um. Oh." I said.

"In any case this was why the colony went undiscovered for so long. We had no reason to send ships there. When the colony is discovered, there are two possible choices for the Klingons of the day. One: Destroy it utterly from orbit. Two: enslave the population and torture them for information about the Federation invasion of our space."

Kalak continued "The Chancellor of that time decided to keep it secret and watch it. There were good reasons for his decision as you shall see, but a secondary reason you should note was that it should be a Human preserve. It was expected that we would have to kill a huge percentage of the human population to achieve victory in our war. The Chancellor of the time wanted to have a healthy breeding population handy in case it became necessary to preserve your species. Later Chancellor Gorkon kept the secret. He feared that public knowledge of a human colony inside Klingon space would provoke the deadly war of extermination that he wished to prevent. Since then, every Chancellor has been saddled with the secret of this world. For Gowron, the secret is even more pressing. There is a virulent anti-Human faction in the Empire. If it was known that Gowron was harboring Humans inside the Empire then it might tip the balance of power away from him. A war might be re declared between our peoples. If the cause is this planet full of your people, then I guarantee they will be the first to fall."

"Oh." I said. Now I wished I hadn't butted in. "Why doesn't Gowron simply exterminate them? That would end his problem."

"Don't think that this has not been advised. However, Gowron is no monster. The people of this planet have lost much technology. They are no match for our fleet. It would not be battle, it would be murder. Some Klingons say that any dead enemy is a good enemy but some of us limit our battles to other warriors. It is all in how one interprets Klingon honor."

"I didn't know that Klingons spoke openly of that." I said softly. I had read long scholarly treatises written by Klingons about what did and did not constitute honor. They had been smuggled out of the Empire. Klingons considered the whole subject limited solely to Klingons and the rest of us weren't invited to play.

"We don't. This whole trip is considered confidential, Captain." Kalak said. "The planet ahead of us is simply a symptom of the great divide between Klingons."

"How do you label this divide?" I asked. There had been many labels, it seemed. One for each author of an essay on the subject.

"I see you have read some of our discussions on the subject." Kalak's eyes twinkled. He should have been angry but was not. To him it was flattering that other races would hang on the internal debates among Klingons. "Functionally, there is a marker issue. It is the issue of whether a Klingon is tolerant or intolerant of humans. Most of us view you as yapping monkeys, filled with arrogance and naivete, filling the Galaxy with your useless ideas, talk and culture. However, there are some of you who are worthy of being considered on the same plane as a man. Captain Kirk for instance."

"I thought Klingons hated Captain Kirk." I said.

"The hero of the Federation? If you hate the Federation, then you will probably dislike the man who stands as a symbol for it. But even in hate, he was respected."

"So the issue isn't hate." I guessed.

"No. The issue is whether even a few Humans or other people in your Federation are worthy of respect. There are several Klingons who hate humans passionately, yet act with respect because they feel to do less would be to soil their own honor."

"And the other side?" I asked.

"They are the ones who would destroy an unarmed colony and then claim a great victory over your kind. They are the ones who would cut screaming children in two with a Bat'leth and crow about their strength. To them, only Klingons are worth respect or honor. Forgive me, this is a limitation of your language, but all other races are considered less than human, in the sense of not really being people. Not worthy of concern or compassion."

"Let me guess which side of this you come down on?" I said sarcastically.

"A good clue would be that I didn't destroy the Discovery. I am not nearing this planet in my battle cruiser, which is easily capable of exterminating all life on the planet." Kalak said mildly.

"Excellent clues." I said.

"I'm so glad you approve." He said with dripping sarcasm. Up until then I didn't think Klingons had sarcasm. I looked at him in horror.

He bellowed with laughter. "You didn't expect that! Bwaa Haa Haa! Wait until you hear Klingon puns!"

Suddenly I felt an urge to take up the Bat'leth.

-*-

We dropped out of warp and began to approach the planet. I learned that on Klingon charts it was called Rokon. We dropped into orbit and I could see thriving cities. They were about the same technology level as Earth in the Twenty-First Century. The planet seemed roughly divided into two sides. There were differences in technology, some differences in architecture and they was electronic signals were handled.

I picked one and hailed it. General Kalak insisted that I keep the pickup for the communications system tightly on me and let no one else know he was with me for now.

I sent my signal to the largest city on that side. I got back a voice signal.

["This is New Rokon Air Control, Who is that calling?]" The language and the phrasing was Klingon. I looked at Kalak who smiled knowingly and signaled me to continue.]

"[This is the ship Heinlein in orbit above you. I want to land and speak with your leaders."]

The controller didn't speak again for some time. The city directed a scanning beam at us. It was a radio wave coded with a complex signal. Our computers said that it was just a signal tag so that the radar they were using would harder to jam.

Then the controller came back on line "[Spaceship. I confirm your position. We are getting our leaders now. Will you speak to them from orbit?]"

"[Briefly.]" I used the form to imply that I was patient, yet powerful. The Klingon language can be very flexible if used correctly.

In time we were hailed using an old fashioned video beam. I configured the Heinlein's comm-system to reply in kind. The picture came onto my screen. I could see an older human with a ruddy face and a network of scars. He was dressed in Klingon pattern armor and he carried a Bat'leth. He was wearing the commander's vest, the long gray garment with pockets that marks the command level Klingon.

We boggled at each other for a moment. He said "[You're Human!]"

I said "[Correct. I am Captain Jay P. Hailey. I seek non-hostile communications. Will you comply?]"

The human on the Klingon get up looked thoughtful. "[A Human here. I suppose you will be worth talking to. Land at New Rokon. The Controller will guide you down.]"

"[Thank you.]" I said.

He grinned a toothy grin. "Don't mention it." He said in English. The connection cut.

Soon the controller came back. He gave me a heading down to the planet. I set the Heinlein on the right course and we dropped towards new Rokon.

"Why was that man dressed like a Klingon?" I asked.

"That man was not dressed like a Klingon." General Kalak pointed out. "In his own mind, at least, he is a Klingon."

"What in the world is going on?" I asked.

"When the colony ship landed, many of the colonists found the remains of the Klingon settlement. We don't know exactly why, but they took on the Klingon ways." Kalak explained. "There are a few from this world who are very good with the Bat'leth."

"But, but if they're Humans..." I said.

"They won't get good treatment in the Empire at large." Kalak said. "Some of us look at those people and ask ourselves is it possible for a Human to be a Klingon? Does the fire burn within them? I have known one or two of these people and in my opinion, yes, despite the flesh, in many of the humans of New Rokon beats the heart of a Klingon. But to others they are animals who ape civilized ways in a desperate attempt not to be rightfully slaughtered by the Klingon Master Race."

"Human Klingons?" I shook my head. I would have had severe doubts if you had told me of the subject cold.

"How else do you think that Gowron gets most of his information about Starfleet and the Federation?" Kalak asked, smirking.

"Oh, my God!" Any Human might be a Klingon spy! It was a whole new world of paranoia.

"Worse many of the Humans of New Rokon are actually on the other side of the honor debate. They feel that non-acclimated Humans should be exterminated." Kalak said.

"Do they?" I asked sharply. Then I turned to the Runabout's tactical station and put it on alert. It wasn't as good as living eyes watching the scope, but I was flying the Heinlein.

Kalak laughed. "I see you begin to understand."

As we descended into the environs of the city, we were bathed in a variety of electronic scanning beams. I tried to convince the tactical station to use the comm-system to jam them, but the Heinlein hadn't been designed for such work.

The tactical panel beeped and the Heinlein's computer voice said "Warning: Missiles have been fired targeted on this vessel."

Kalak turned to his panel and called up the Heinlein's tactical station. "You fly, I'll knock the missiles down."

"Aye, Sir." I said. I couldn't think of anything else to say. As the first salvo of missiles came in, I waited until the last minute and the cut the lift engines, plummeting like a rock.

Missiles streaked overhead and exploded near us rattling the Heinlein.

"I thought you said that they were unarmed!" I said.

"Compared to my battle cruiser, they are!" Kalak laughed.

A few evasive maneuvers and a full impulse drive to orbit left the missiles far behind.

"Well, that was interesting." I said, breathlessly.

"You should try the other faction, now." Kalak said.

"There are two factions?" I asked.

"Trust me." Kalak grinned.

I sighed and placed the runabout on a course for the other side of the planet.

-*-

"This is New Chicago Airspace Control, identify yourself." The voice said. This was in English. I didn't know whether I should be relieved or even more worried.

"This is the Heinlein. We're in orbit above your world."

"Who ever you are, I want to remind you that fraudulent or frivolous use of command frequencies is crime." The controller said.

"Just scan. You'll see us." I said.

"Stand by." In a few moments a scanning beam similar to the one used by the New Rokon faction was trained on us.

"Heinlein, will you speak with our President?" The controller asked.

"Thank you. Yes, I'd like that."

In a few moments my screen lit up and I saw another human. He had a long, blocky face and carefully coifed hair.

"This is President Barkley of the New Republic. To whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?" The man asked.

"I am Captain Jay P. Hailey of the Federation ship Heinlein-"

"Thank God!" The man interrupted. "At long last you've come!" His face was bursting with happiness.

"Thank you, but I-" I tried to say

"For a hundred years we've held out against the Klingon Barbarians, waiting for the day when liberation would come!" He shouted happily.

I looked and sure enough, the signal was unscrambled. Everyone was watching this. "The Heinlein is only one small ship-"

"But she's the precursor of better things to come!" President Barkley burbled happily.

"Can we meet and talk in private?" I asked.

"Certainly! Certainly. We're lining up priority clearance in New Chicago, our capital, now. I'll meet you on the ground, Captain Hadley."

"That's Hailey-" I began

"The great day of liberation has come!" He yelled.

I cut the channel.

"This is going to be fun." I grumbled.

Kalak just shook his head. "Wait and see."

-*-

I flew the Heinlein down into the traffic pattern specified by the ground controllers. All at once aircraft surrounded us. They were fighter planes. They flew in formation with us and we drifted slowly over the city. As we got closer to the landing field, I could see huge crowds thronging the streets of New Chicago.

We closed in on the field and I could the landing spot picked out for us. there were uniformed security officials keeping crowds back and a red carpet laid out near the center of the pad. The Heinlein was centered in very bright spot lights. Even through the space proof hull I could hear the roar of the crowd as the Heinlein came in to land.

Kalak was in the back putting on his space suit. I used the data from his isolinear chip to program the Heinlein's life support system to clear out the spores.

Then I made the final approach and landing. I took it very slowly. I didn't want the crowd rushing the pad, or I'd crush many of them under the runabout.

The crowd went wild as we landed. The noise was deafening. I asked General Kalak if he was ready and he nodded shortly. Then he opaqued his suit's helmet. He could have been anyone inside of it. I didn't argue with him.

I quickly grabbed a phaser and a tricorder from the runabout's locker. I didn't expect to need either one, but they were the most absolutely convenient and handy when you couldn't get to them.

Then I stood in front of the runabout's hatch and took a deep breath. I had faced enthusiastic crowds before, on the diplomatic tour with the USS Discovery, but nothing like this.

I opened the hatch and stepped out of the Runabout. A wall of sound that was nearly solid rolled over me. It was a near riot. There were hand painted signs that said "Welcome Federation" or "Federation Forever". There were others that said "Death to Klingons" or cartoons showing Klingons being defeated by heroic Humans. The big Klingon tri-foil with the circle and the slash through it was my personal favorite, but none it changed how incredibly heart breaking it was.

These people thought of themselves as desperate holdouts against the Klingon Empire. They thought that I was the vanguard of a liberating Federation fleet.

I put a fake grin on my face and waved to the people. "Hi." I think I said. I couldn't hear myself speaking. The crowd got louder and more boisterous. I was their hero.

I was ready to cry when the President showed up. He arrived in a long black ground car. There were other, smaller cars, filled with tough looking men in dark suits and dark spectacles. They quickly got out and surrounded the area, keeping a watch for assassins and suicidal nuts. Body guards haven't changed in hundreds of years.

The President got out of his car and strode up to me. He was tall and lanky. He had the picturesque ugliness that can only be a political asset. He was saying things, but I couldn't hear a word. He stuck out his hand and I took it. He gently turned me to the side and I was aware that an entire planet was taking my picture while I shook the president's hand. Then he held out his hand for Kalak. Kalak gave him a big friendly shake. I saw the President understand the presence of the space suit as the handshake went through. His face fell and his looked at Kalak horrified. Through the darkened space suit helmet I could not see Kalak's face. I'd bet that he was grinning, though.

Oh, god. What if the president lost it or someone else got it and started shooting? According to Klingon culture I was honor bound to go down fighting in the General's defense. If he died and I didn't die with him, I would be dishonored.

The President turned quickly back towards the crowd and waved his hands in the air. His first and middle fingers were extended. I recognized Churchill's "V for Victory" sign. Then the President shot me a dirty look and began to hustle us into the limo. We relaxed and went with him. I could see some faces in the crowd chewing over the space suit and what it might mean. I locked eyes with one lady as she got it. She simply stared at me in horror. I had brought the enemy with me.

Then we were in the ground car. It started driving along, slowly. I could still barely hear anything, although the car was closed. We started out at a walking pace. The body guards trotted along side the car.

"Can you speak English?" The President bellowed to General Kalak.

Kalak nodded.

"Then for Christ's sake stay down!" Barkley shouted. Then he motioned at me. "Do it!"

I didn't know what he meant until he opened the windows on his car. The roar was deafening again. He leaned out and waved to the people. Then I got it. I open my windows and leaned out, too. The crowds went wild.

We drove down a large street. It looked like under normal conditions that it would be crowded with ground cars and shoppers and people doing the business that kept the city running. Now there was only the President's black limo and the body guards and every resident of that whole side of the planet lining the street. I waved and grinned and grinned and waved. Confetti started to rain down on me. It was a ticker-tape parade for the love of mike!

-*-

"You've got to get it through your heads!" I yelled at Barkley. "The Klingons are not your enemies! They are your only way out of this mess!"

Barkley looked sullen. "You tell people who've spent their entire lives fighting the Klingons that peaceful surrender is our only option. You tell 'em that their mortal enemy is now their only hope. Can you imagine what the polls will say?"

"They'll look a lot worse if the Klingon fleet shows up in orbit!" I said. They weren't getting it.

"I can't even think of rescuing you. Hell, General Kalak is my Commanding Officer! If the decision comes down to eliminate you, then I may be ordered to join in. I won't have any other choice!" I said.

"That's an interesting interpretation." Kalak smiled through his space suit helmet at me.

"Are you certain that there's no hope?" A woman asked. She was near tears.

"Sure. Sure there's plenty of hope. The Federation and the Klingons are allies, now. If you are willing to stop thinking of the Klingons as enemies, then we can find a solution, somewhere." I said.

"But first we have to end a hundred years of hatred and warfare and surrender without a shot being fired." Barkley said.

I shook my head. It was like a bad dream. The Federation and the Klingons had been at war when the Philadelphia was lost. When they landed, they found the remains of the Klingon colony. Many of the Colonists felt that the Klingons were spread far further than they actually were. They felt that the Klingons truly did represent a master race. They set about to study the Klingon ways and emulate them. If the Klingons were conquering the whole Galaxy then they must be on to something.

The rest of the colonists had over reacted in the other direction, becoming as much a parody of Earth as the people of New Rokon had become a parody of the Klingon Empire.

Now they were so locked into their hatreds and warfare that they were resisting the idea of the Federation/Klingon alliance as well as a New Chicago/New Rokon alliance. Not only that, but General Kalak didn't understand what I was doing in the first place.

"Making peace between the two factions is not your job." Kalak said. "They pose a threat only to themselves and this useless world. Let them go their own way."

We were on the Heinlein, getting ready to address another meeting of the Directorate of New Chicago. Kalak was fighting with a Federation issue re-breather mask. If he could get the seal to seat tightly on his face, then he wouldn't have to wear to heavy, bulky space suit outside. The planet was a good climate for Klingons and Humans except for the damned spores.

"I'm sorry. Being a peace bringer is part of my mission. If I can convince the two factions to cooperate with each other then I'll have accomplished something."

"Yes. They will stop fighting each other and may begin to pose a threat to the Empire." Kalak said thoughtfully.

"I doubt that." I said. "It's going to take more than one planet of extremist humans to seriously harm the Empire."

"What do you suggest?" Kalak asked.

"There must be something. Can they swear fealty to Gowron?" I asked.

"You mean as in to swear loyalty and pay tribute? Amusing idea, but it would still hang the label of 'Human lover' around Gowron's neck." General Kalak said. "Besides, would you believe President Barkley if he swore fealty to Gowron?"

"Hmmm. There must something. I'm just not seeing it." I said.

Kalak finished modifying his breather-mask and strapped it on. "Ah." He said "That's better. Such a nice little planet, otherwise."

We would have to beam inside the Heinlein instead of just walking in the hatch to get all the spores off of the General, but it was better than asking him to spend several days cooped up inside a space suit.

-*-

"Would you say that the Klingons have given up massacres of innocent civilians?" The news woman asked General Kalak. We were guests on some sort of television presentation. The point, I was told, was to discuss the political ramifications of this, that and the other thing.

"Hey!" I yelled. "That's an incredibly biased question! You're not going to solve any of your problems unless you're willing to give up some of your preconceived notions!" I was a little hot under the collar.

"No. We haven't." Kalak grinned.

"I'm simply asking the questions that my audience wants asked. Captain Hailey." The reporter shot back at me. "Since when did Starfleet become an apologist service for the Klingons?"

"I'm not an apologist, I'm a member of a peaceful exploration service! I stand here as living proof that Humans and Klingons can live and work together in peace!"

"Mostly." General Kalak inserted.

"And what are your feelings on this, General?" The woman asked. I knew that if Kalak gave any sort of real answer, he'd be quoted out of context to make it seem like he was a bloodthirsty barbarian.

"It is quite obvious to me that you don't actually want peace." Kalak said. "Quite a Klingon attitude really. I wonder if your cousins in New Rokon are aware of how much of an influence they've had on you. They might be proud."

The news woman leaned back in her chair, stunned. "I see no reason to be insulting!" She sputtered.

"I can see no reason not to be." Kalak said in his deep cultured voice.

The television presentation went down hill from there.

-*-

The Council of New Rokon was even worse. The Humans there were nearly desperate to prove that they were good Klingons. To them it would be a miracle if the Fleet rolled into orbit. They even offered to beam up and meet the Klingon landing forces in one-on-one combat aboard the troops ships so that the Klingons couldn't claim they had an unfair advantage because of the spores.

General Kalak tried to explain that, while he admired the sentiment, too many of his country men would see them only as fit targets for fusion bombs. They asked Kalak if he would at least provide technical support so that they could make a fight of it and get into the great sagas. General Kalak was considering it when I called the meeting to a halt. That almost got me stuck with a Bat'leth or two. As it was I had to beam us out before General Kalak got really going in his battle. Win or lose, he would die when a spore entered his blood stream through the cut.

After explaining this to the High Councilor of New Rokon, he offered to have a chamber air conditioned to remove the spores so that he and Kalak could continue their fight. Kalak said that he would definitely return for that event, but first he had to complete his mission for the Imperial High Council.

-*-

"True Warriors." Kalak chuckled, dabbing at his black eye.

"Nice of them to offer to get rid of the spores." I said, though a fat lip.

"That is the Way of the Warrior. Ancient Klingon palaces used to have court yards arranged so that competing family patriarchs could hold duels. The opponents would be feasted and celebrated the night before at a wild feast. The fight would not happen until the traveling leader was fully recovered from the travel and the party. Those were the days."

"No body does that any more?" I asked. I thought that such scenes were still happening somewhere in the Empire.

"Such duels became very unfashionable after someone invented the automatic rifle and the hand grenade." Kalak said. "It was too easy for a disgruntled warrior or family member to wipe out the opposing clan's side. If they are willing enough to hold a feast, then they are willing enough to settle this issue for the benefit of both sides."

"I've got it!" I yelled. "I know how we can pull this out."

-*-

The Heinlein flew away from Rokon. The deal I had put forth was unpopular but accepted by both the New Chicagoans and the New Rokonians. The Klingons even liked it, some.

The automatic distress beacon from the old colony ship had been turned off. We were carrying the records of the colony for transmission back to the Federation

The communications system chimed. There was a powerful signal from Qo'noS. I answered it to find myself looking again at Chancellor Gowron.

"Sir!" I sat at attention.

"Report, Captain." Gowron said.

"Both factions of Rokon have agreed to the deal, Sir." I said.

"You sound like a Ferengi. Tell me again what the official position you imagine goes like."

"You rescued the poor, weak Humans from certain death. In return they have settled Rokon with the intent of Qo'noS-forming it. Once they have destroyed the dangerous pollen and replaced the ecologically sensitive plants with good substitutes they will turn the planet over to you lock, stock and barrel."

"And what do I do with the Humans who live there now?"

"Once they have repaid your kindness you will let them return to the Federation. Of course, by then, some of the Humans will have recognized the natural superiority of the Klingon way, and will beg to stay in your service." I said.

"I hope for both our sakes that this works, Captain." Gowron said. "I also hope that you will not make a habit of meddling in Klingon affairs."

"Yes, Sir!" I said, fervently.

-*-

There was some backlash about the public announcement of the human colony inside Klingon space. The portrayal of the Humans as poor weak lost souls who needed the help of the powerful Gowron was a fairly popular one among moderate Klingons. It blunted the backlash enough so that the feared anti-human uprising did not occur then.

The Discovery kept moving, under even tighter secrecy.

-End-

Disclaimer: Paramount owns all things Trek. I claim original characters and situations in this story for me.