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[Innkeeper]

Haley: "How does it do that?"

Angie: **Magic. Once you take hold it moves like a bamboo stick, but still hits like thirty pounds of adimantime**

Jeriban:: **Works a treat on Gorgons.**

[jayphailey]

Angie: **Magic. Once you take hold it moves like a bamboo stick, but still hitS like thirty pounds of adimantime**

Jeriban:: **Works a treat on Gorgons.**

Haley: "That has got to be messing with the higgs bosons in some weird ways. Where does the energy to do that come from?"

[jayphailey]

Huh my reply about Lydia didn't stick.

[jayphailey]

Stephanie: "Yes, please, thank you. Let's revisit the whole kidnapped by Aliens thing."

Anthony: Speaking for the fist time: "I'm a touch concerned abut that as well."

Lydia: "I remember, I was at home. Donald had passed some time before. DeeJay was in prison. Drake called me, but he was busy with his career in the bay area. Stephanie.... Stephanie, you disappeared. It was horrible. We never found out what happened to you.

So it was just me. A lazy summer day. I felt so tired. I hurt all down my right side. I laid down on the couch to get a little nap. Just to rest my eyes.

I woke up naked as a jay-bird in some sort of a pod. And there was a naked white man in the next pod over.

And this robot. Gavin called him Jeeves.

Jeeves explained to us, but I didn't understand a word. It was all goobeldy gook.

We were in a field, on a slight rise, with a creek down to the west of us and these huge trees. Gavin said they looked like Keebler elf trees. They had windows and doors grown right into them. Jeeves said we could pick a tree and there'd be clothing inside.

I ran into the Keebler elf tree, and there was stuff. That tree was happy to see me. It was lonely and wanted someone to take care of. I saw clothes and stuff, for other ladies. It had been sitting there for a while.

Jeeves told us that the trees used nanotechnology to make whatever we wanted, given enough time. (She over pronounces the word nanotechnology, it's clear she has no idea what that is)

So I asked for some clothes. Just some sweats and some underwear.

The tree, inside had a sort of a wash tub, with this white stuff in it. Looked like rubber. And when it made stuff the things it made would just float to the top of the rubber.

So, I swear to you. This tree makes me underwear and clothes out of leaves. They worked ad clothes, but they looked like leaves. Felt kinda in between cloth and leaf. I put it on, because it clothing and there. Gavin was so mad, y'all.

So Jeeves tells us, the better we can picture what we want, the better the trees can give it to us. The trees grew nuts and fruit on the outside. Jeeves said we could survive on that indefinitely.

Gavin that was too close to being vegetarian, so he traps and killed a bunny.

Gavin was every white man sterotype you could imagine.

She turns to Kevin and Brian "No offense"

They nod like they have any idea. They dont

Brian: "From you? never."

So Gavin sarts actiung all tough and warrior and survivalist and like that.

Eventually I got Jeeves to explain it to me in words I could understand.

Jeeves had a cave with all these crystals in the walls. This was some sort of mind-recorder. This thing would look out in the multiverse and record people's minds.

Then Jeeves would take these crystals and put them into the people maker. It would then grow the mind inside the crystal a new body. And that's me. Inside my head is a crystal VHS Tape of Lydia's mind.

I think I'm a different person now, having gone to different worlds and met different people. But I'm a copy of Lydia. Some nice Ane folks told me that I'm a real girl. They're very nice and I appreciate them.

But that's how the Terhmelern kidnapped me. They were cosmic peeping toms into my brain and then the recorded me and played me back into a young body to go try and hunt shapeshifters.

Gavin and I weren't the only ones. We figured there had been four groups before Jeeves made us.

Jeeves told us that if anything happened, we could get the Crystal out of our skulls and bring that back and he regrow us in the people maker.

Gavin had the tree make him a gun. The first one came out with wood grain in it and veins like leaves have. It was perfectly functional, but LOOKED like it was grown by a tree. In metal. Gavin was pretty mad about that, too.

He threatened to shoot Jeeves if Jeeves did it again. Jeeves promised to wait until we got back before he started cooking more people.

This place, it was so peaceful. If you went a mile down the creek, you'd wind up coming back from other direction. Gavin called it Rivendell.

There were birds and some rabbits and some bugs. We saw coyotes a few times but nothing bigger than that.

After a while, we had the trees make us some hiking gear. We took money and gold from th stuff left over by the previous tenants, and we set out to try and find these shape shifters to shoot.

Along the way, we picked up Geoff, Iago and Hackuff. We met the nice folks on the Opal Isles. They gave us more guns and gear to use to explore, if we reported what we found to them.

Then Iago revealed that the Golden Army was usoing Mrs Geoff as a hostage to get Geoff to behave. We agreed to try to go overland, and get help and come up behind the golden army and sneak in to liberate Mrs Geoff.

The rest you know. We lost Gavin escaping that freak show in the jungle where we picked up Ssala. I couldn't even dive down to get the crystal out of his skull. I'm sure it's there in the river, somewhere.

The rest of them will be out there, too, I guess. Gavin and I wanted to try and find their remains in that odd world where the bad guys won the war, so we could get their crystals back.

(Sigh)

[jayphailey]

Jonathan Quietly: "Well, there's our next quest. We have to get Gavins skull crystal back. And the other folks."

Lydia: "You can't. The gates won't let you through. We can get Gavins' though."

[jayphailey]

Jonathan: "What sort of Elves are these Keebler Elves?"

Lydia (Embarrased) "Uhhh, they were cartoons. Used to sell cookies."

Jonathan tilts his head. Obviously more to learn there.

[jayphailey]

Stephanie: "So... you went with this Gavin.... to go hunt alien shape shifters? And you wound up with these folks...?"

She is horrified. Imagine finding out your mom was cloned to go be an epic warrior.

"Did you ever find any? Did you shoot anyone?"

Lydia: "Honey... these kids come from a bad neighborhood. Like South Central bad. There were giant preying mantises, pirates, skeletons, more pirates, these Lizard folks like Ssala, but mean and they worshipped something foul and alien. And then we got to Waterdeep and that was like Watts in the 1960s. We had to shoot our way out of there. Giant ants. It was rough. I did what I had to do to survive. Donald taught me to shoot. Gavin taught me more. These folks have even taught me more. This last trip we wound up fighting two different dragons."

Brian: "And Ghosts,"

Jonathan: "I am glad we didn't have to hurt the giant owl."

Haley: "It does. It sounds like a D&D game."

Stephanie: "Look at these people. Look at their calluses. Look at the way they carry themselves. Look at how my MOM is carrying herself."

Haley: "Yeah. They know how to fight. My Grandma Lydia lives in an L.A. where no one needs to know how to fight. I'm glad these folks survived. When things get tough, you do what you have to do."

Lydia: "Stephanie, did anything happen to you when you were about 28 years old?"

Stephanie said "Yeah. I got tired of living in an L.A. where no one needed to learn how to fight, so I joined Starfleet."

Lydia: "How is YOUR Mom?"

Stephanie (Bothered): "I'll call her when we get out of here."

Lydia: "Please do. I missed you."

Haley: "Stephanie. Do you have sisters?"

Stephanie heaves a sigh "Yeah. I do. I think, like four of them."

"Have you message them?""

"No. No. Didn't feel like it."

"Did they message you?"

"No."

"Aunt Stephanie!"

Stephanie glares at Haley "What?"

"Maybe you need to talk to one of these Ane. You have something going on."

[jayphailey]

Lydia: "Tell me about your Drake and Deejay?"

Stephanie mumbles.

Haley: "Deejay is my dad. I followed my Aunt into Starfleet because She was doing something with her life, not smoking cannabis and playing bad jazz and blaming an audience for not beating a path to his door."

Lydia nods "At least yours wasn't selling drugs or trying to be a gangster."

"My Uncle Drake was a lawyer and a photographer in the bay area. He was a state representative for the California congress forever. He had a nice family."

Lydia sighs "My Drake was gay."

"My uncle Drake is gay, too. But his boyfriend is bi, and they started a weird poly. Uncle Drake loves those kids."

Lydia: "A what now?"

[Innkeeper]

Angie: **Magic. Once you take hold it moves like a bamboo stick, but still hitS like thirty pounds of adimantime**

Jeriban:: **Works a treat on Gorgons.**

Haley: "That has got to be messing with the higgs bosons in some weird ways. Where does the energy to do that come from?"

Angine: **Ask Jeriban, I just dance with it.**

Jeriban: **The field energies, usually solar in nature we call arcane magic can be fixed in an object with the right rituals. The glaive has them so fixed. Most the jewelry you see on us has various magical functions as well.**

[jayphailey]

Angine: **Ask Jeriban, I just dance with it.**

Jeriban: **The field energies, usually solar in nature we call arcane magic can be fixed in an object with the right rituals. The glaive has them so fixed. Most the jewelry you see on us has various magical functions as well.**

Haley: "Magic, huh?"

Sian: "We're going to wind up carrying tricorders all the time."