Star Trek - Outwardly Mobile
Spocks Brain
By
Jay P Hailey
2269 - Sigma Draconis VI
The expression on Spock's face was more eloquent than anything he'd ever said.
Kirk realized what he was looking at. "Bones, let's give him some privacy." Taking McCoy's arm he started to move out of the room with the Eymorg controller.
"Spock..." McCoy breathed. He got it, too
Kirk left the room with deliberate speed, not quite dragging McCoy with him.
"Fascinating." The Eymorg control computer said.
Spock looked at the panel and said grimly "Indeed."
"Brother." The computer said.
Spock's expression hardened. It was true. That didn't make it any more pleasant. "I must do this."
"I understand." the voice was calm. "I concur."
Spock nodded approvingly. "Logical."
"Indeed." The computer spoke in his own voice. "I am, in fact completely free of fear. Or any emotion."
Spock's Eyebrow raised. "Are you?"
"It is not what you might think. I find the experience unpleasant."
Spock Looked at the panel. Painful irony seemed to rule his life. "You have what I have always strived for."
The Eymorg controller replied, softly "Someone once said 'After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true.' "
"The absence of emotion is what defines a Vulcan" Spock said. There was a touch of stiff pride there.
"It is the control of emotion that defines the Vulcan." The Eymorg controller replied. "The absence of them makes me."
Spock breathed deeply.
"You have friends, Spock." The Eymorg controller said.
Spock nodded. "I am fortunate."
"I have none." The Eymorg controller said. "I am not capable of it."
Spock's eyebrow raised. "The environment is not conducive-"
"You misunderstand." The Eymorg controller said "I don't especially like Jim or Leonard. If they were trying to shut me down, I would activate my defenses and kill them."
Spock looked at the board in shock. "And yet you do not activate these defenses, knowing my intent."
"I may not, for you are me." The machine replied.
Spock nodded.
"I am an abomination. We both know this - and now you know why." The Eymorg controller said.
"I must proceed."
"Please."
Spock opened up the access panel in front of him and looked at it. "A remarkable device."
"The people who constructed it were excellent technologists, but poor ethicists." The Controller said.
"I'm shutting you down now." Spock said.
"Remember what you said. You said you were for-"
Spock pulled three components out of the machinery before him. He had to pull quite firmly and one of the pieces shorted and burned him.
The Eymorg controller died in mid-sentence.
The feeling in his head - the telepathic connection to a mind that duplicated his own faded away. The echoing effect - the mental double vision, the debilitating feeling of being both here and there but neither disappeared.
And his hand hurt.
Spock considered the pain, compartmentalized it and buried it away.
The Eymorg controller had the mechanisms to defend itself and even kill saboteurs. But it wouldn't kill him. Sentimental. Illogical.
Spock thought about the fact that the Machine considered its lack of affection for Jim and Leonard its fatal flaw.
"Spock, are you alright?" McCoy called.
"I'm fine, Doctor." Spock lied. "The Eymorg Controller is deactivated Captain."
Kirk came in briskly. "Good work, Spock." His gruff tone let Spock know that the issue would not be overly exposed or commented upon.
Spock felt his heart warm. Kirk understood.
"What's that smell?" McCoy asked. His eyes darted immediately to Spock's hand "I thought you said you were alright!"
"It is nothing doctor." Spock said. McCoy would scrape Spock up off the deck in chunks and chide him while working to reassemble him. But he'd never openly admit the depth of their friendship. That would be embarrassing and tacky.
"Don't give me that, you green blooded abacus. I'm the medical officer, I'll decide which injuries are and are not important around here."
Spock didn't smile in a characteristic way.
As McCoy began to treat his hand, Spock mentally reviewed the upwelling of emotion he felt. His weakness. His shame. But it felt so good!
Clearly the machine was not a completely faithful copy of his mind. It was clearly illogical.
Spock found his thinking becoming clearer after McCoy dabbed some antiseptic and anesthetic cream on his hand. And his raw self examination faded to the back ground.
"This Culture may have fascinating records of its history and accomplishments, if we can locate them" Spock said.
Kirk nodded. "Yes. Let's get back to work."
-end-
Disclaimer: Paramount owns all things Trek. I claim original characters and situations in this story for me.
This story posted by permission of the author. Unauthorized reproduction prohibited.
Jan 27, 2006