It wasn't as heavy as it should be. This indicated it was hollow. There were several explanations for this. The most interesting one was that someone had been working on it.

So we were taking a look. That's what Starships DO.

There was a vague reading of refined metal somewhere in the vicinity of the rock, but we couldn't find it. It was a mystery. Kamaline liked that.

"The surface is too smooth," Kamaline reported. "The spectrum of the surface is all wrong." She looked up with a sparkle and I found it catchy. "I could speculate that it has been worked on. The surface shows signs of being heated and then smoothed out."

There were still other good explanations for that. If it ventured too close to a star and had left-over pockets of volatiles from its formation it could have been melted smooth and then inflated without anyone's interference

Either way, it was a project for the science teams.

Something about the shape of the asteroid bugged me. "Keep scanning, Kamaline."

"Course, sir?" Spaat asked.

"Lets swing around and see what we see." I said "One quarter impulse."

"Aye, Sir." Spaat said.

The big rock seemed to rotate, but really this was the Discovery circling it.

A moutain came up over the limb of the asteroid. "Not as regular as all that." I murmured. I had no idea what the mountain might mean.

As we rolled past the halfway point, a pattern suddenly became clear on the asteroid.

I found myself standing up and gawking at the screen.

As we continued our circle, it became plain. It was a face.

"You must be joking." I said.

The damned thing was a face floating in space, five miles tall.

"Kamaline, report." Mendez said calmly.

"Nothing but rock present, Commander." Kamaline said. "No energy signatures."

"I've, ahhh..." Lucas McCoy said, almost sounding embarrassed. "I've run it through our face recognition filters. It's no one we know of."

I squinted at Lucas. It was a logical question, but I was still busy boggling.

As we came around to the front of the face I could make out the features. It was a stern yet kind face. It looked male to me, and very regal.

"It's interesting work." Mendez said. "Note the subtle expressiveness."

"It's subtly expressing with eyebrows a quarter mile long." I said hoarsely.

Mendez nodded. "Truly a remarkable work."

Kamaline made a choked half squeal.

I stared at her for a moment. Was this funny? Seriously I was lost. Was this funny? Was someone playing some huge, collossal joke?

She turned and visibly made an effort at keeping her composure. "I've, ummm, located the docking bay, I think."

We all looked at her.

"Umm I am getting refined metal readings..." She almost lost it, "up it's nose."

I could feel my eyes bugging out "What?"

Mendez grinned and then it threatened to get away from him. He turned and walked towards the back of the bridge, doing his best to maintain a straight face.

I turned and stared as the cold stone face on the viewscreen. "Tell me this is practical joke on the Captain day."

Spaat looked at me deadpan. "If so, I was not informed of it, Captain."

I could hear Stephanie loose it behind me.

I blinked at Spaat several times. Kamaline said "It's not a joke Captain. This is real."

"Real funny." Stephanie clairified.

Mendez had to turn back towards the back of the bridge.

"Really?" I looked at Kamaline. I could tell hurt and confusion were about to burst out all over my face. That or laughter, I couldn't tell.

She looked back solemnly. "I promise. I am not making this up."

I looked back at the face. The nostrils were dark. They looked cold and empty.

I looked at billions of metric tons of rock, sculpted by incredible forces, in just such a way as to insult my cultural sensibilities.

The universe was playing a joke on me. But it did so with a perfectly straight face.

Suddenly I couldn't help myself.

"Well, we came here to nose around." I said.

Stephanie howled.

Spaat lifted an eyebrow at me.

"Might as well face it." Kamaline grinned.

Lucas put his head down on his panel to hide his snickers.

I turned to Mendez. He looked at me exasperated. "I hope no one minds us sniffing around."

I could feel a laugh bubbling out of me despite my best efforts.

"Fascinating." Spaat said.

We didn't accomplish anything useful on the bridge of the Discovery for another half an hour.

Every so often I looked up a the screen and thought about how odd it was to greet such a fantastic work of art and monumentation with laughter.

But that just made it all funnier.

-End-